Tired

I am  t i r e d.  I usually try not to complain about my situations, because I am blessed to have the problems that I have, but today I am going to complain a little.  I have been working two jobs for about 5 months and it is starting to get to me.  I love both of my jobs because they are both very different.  My full time job is an office job, and obviously my part time job is Starbucks.  They are both incredible companies and I am endlessly grateful to work for them.  Lately I have been going to my first job, coming home for a few minutes, then leaving for my second job.  I barely have time to see Josh, and when I do see him I am exhausted which makes me sad.  I think it makes him sad too.  Josh is going to school full time to become an engineer, so he is usually pretty busy as well.  I love him so much and has been doing so well in school.  I am so proud of him.  He hates that I have been working as hard as I have, but that just makes me love him that much more.  I am also planning a wedding.  That is the funniest complaint.  I guess it is not really a complaint, I just wish I had more time to focus on the wedding.  Haha, said every bride ever.  Anyway, right now I am in a strange spot because I really just want both of us to start our careers and be able to spend more time with each other.  On the other hand I love where we are because it is our journey together and it has been really fun.  I keep telling myself that I am going to miss this.  Thank you Toby Keith.  I will continue to repeat Colossians 3:23, “Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men.”  That verse is such a comfort to me.  I also need to constantly remember to choose Joy.  This is very hard for me when I have had a really long day at my first job, a customer is being difficult, and I know I will not be off until 11:15.   They often are difficult. I need to remember to  B e  S t i l l  and respond with love because their day has probably been worse.  I have been ignoring the respond with love part lately.  O o p s.

On top of all this craziness you would think I would be a caffeine addict.  I am not.  I have no tolerance for caffeine.  Every time I drink it, my heart starts racing, I get horribly anxious and I cannot go to sleep until at least 3:00am.  But I am not the brightest light bulb and I often make a drink for myself and instantly regret it.  So Josh has to deal with me: being exhausted, being terrified that the world is coming to an end, being scared that I am dying of whatever disease that I read about that day, and that we are going to be poor.  Then he says that I need to stop worrying so much because I am going to get a disease from being too stressed out.  This does not help but he is a good man for trying.  🙂  I really need to calm down and breathe.  There is a job opportunity that I am very seriously hoping happens, because Josh and I will be set.  Definitely praying and waiting on God.